What a Libertarian Wants

What do libertarians want?

Libertarians want to spend time doing useful, fun stuff.  We do not like, or feel like we should have to defend, our right to do as we please.  We do not consider political activism a calling as much as a pain in the neck, brought on by idiots who want to tell us what to do.

We promise not to bother you if you don’t bother us.  And, hey, if our stereo is too loud, you can just ask us to turn it down.  We rarely shoot our neighbors.  If you do bother us, we will probably just ask you to compromise or cooperate.  Well, unless you try to, say, rob us.  Then we may make an exception to the shooting thing (above).

We aren’t particularly interested in your advice or guidance.  About anything.  We screw up some days, just like the next guy.  The difference is that we won’t come running to you to bail us out when we screw up.  We’ll just pick up the pieces and start over.  Of course, we appreciate help if a tornado hits our house.  Heck, we’d do the same for you.

We’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t read what the papers say about us.  Democrats and Republicans are spreading horrible lies.  You’d think they’d recognize the principles on which our country was founded.  You know, that pursuit of happiness thing and all the rest.  Guess not.

Yep, we dislike authority.  We’ll cooperate with the cops as long as they don’t violate the Constitution.  We might even help them if it means getting a true thug off the street.  We’ll obey traffic signs and few of us will ever show up nude in public.  Hey, it’s not in the Constitution–we just don’t want to subject you to that.  See, we’re pretty civil, all in all.

So learn to like us.  We’re here to stay.  You didn’t know that because until now, we were a bit naive.  We knew our country might get off course now and again, but we didn’t figure it would search for the nearest cliff and peer over the edge.  I don’t know about you, but we libertarians won’t stand by and let it jump.

About Terry Noel

I am an Associate Professor of Management and Quantitative Methods at Illinois State University. My specialty is entrepreneurship.
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