Out of a sense of fairness and perhaps a trace of masochism, I read articles from the mainstream press. Yesterday morning there was, begging to be read, an article on Christine O’Donnell. Even the New York Times could not come up with a fresh joke. I do not know much about Christine, except that according to the press, she dabbled in witchcraft and thinks masturbation is a sin. Having no strong opinion on these subjects, I searched for the substance in the article.
The meat of Frank Rich’s diatribe seemed to be something about money. In Rich’s mind, it just cannot be that people are disgusted with government. There has to be…yes, a plot!
The plot theory goes something like this. Tea Partiers are all like O’Donnell, or at least like the image the press gives us daily–dumb, quirky, and laughable. Keep laughing, Rich, please. We actually kind of like that. Unlike liberals, we have a sense of humor and the humility to know that we have no business telling other people what to do. To my knowledge, Christine O’Donnell has not proposed a law against masturbation. (The reader may fill in any number of obvious and tasteless jokes here. Go ahead. I did.)
Back to the plot, though. Rich people like Rupert Murdoch and the Koch brothers are the puppet-masters behind the hapless millions who gather to protest big government. They are secretly, or at least anonymously, pouring millions of dollars into these organizations and their toothless, unkempt organizers. We serve their agenda and are without wills of our own.
So there you have it. The irresistible Logic of the Left.
Premise #1: No intelligent person could possibly decry what our government has become.
Premise #2: Even if #1 were true, they would not be intelligent enough to lobby against it.
Conclusion: Rich people are behind it all. (Auxiliary premise: Rich people are evil.)
Boy, am I glad I read the paper.