Throw Obama Overboard?

There is every indication that today will be one of the worst upsets in American political history.  Democrats are projected to get clubbed into submission.  What will they do afterward?

If I were coaching Democrats for the next two years, I would tell them to drag up every story that they can, true or untrue, about people suffering at the hands of too little government.  I would have them all practice the grand gestures and cracking voice that come with passion–passion for the under-served, underfed, and under-appreciate masses.  They would wring compassion from the stones and tears from clods of earth until government once again assumed its place as the savior of all who suffer.

But then, I don’t want them to win.

Tough as it is, let me imagine for a moment that I did want them to win.  I would coach them to take Barack Obama aside and have a come-to-Jesus meeting.  It might go something like this:

Dems: Mr. President, you have managed in two years to engender hatred for our party the likes of which we have never seen.

O: Yes, the American people are scared.  Scared!  They aren’t thinking straight.  They just don’t understand what we are trying to do for them.

Dems: Uh, Mr. President, that didn’t work.  No one believed you.

O: I know.  Those Tea Partiers.  Where did those people come from?  Freedom?  Limited government?  They’re stuck in 1776.

Dems: Mr. President, we’d like you to consider not running again.

O: No danger of that.  My knees are killing me and my wind…I gotta quit the cigs.

Dems: (Silence.)

O: Oh, you mean…

Dems: Yes, Mr. President.  We don’t think you should run again.  Ever.

O: Well, if I don’t, then who…oh no, not her.

Dems: Well, you have to admit she has managed herself pretty well in foreign affairs.  Polls show her hated significantly less than you.

O: But I beat her.  I was for hope and, what was that other thing?  Change, yeah, change.  I was for good stuff and I beat her, dammit.

Dems: Mr. President, let us be blunt.  You have singlehandedly decimated the Democratic Party.  If you run again, we may see a two-party system in which The Tea Party and the Republicans fight over who gets to pare government down from Queen size to Junior Petite.  Democrats will exist only in textbooks.

O: Oh, now I wasn’t that bad.  I mean, we did some good things.

Dems: Name one.

O: Well, there was health care.

Dems: (Silence.)

O: Damned Tea Partiers.

Dems: (More silence.)

O: But what will I do?

Dems: You could get a job.

O: A what?

Dems: A job.  You do something valuable for someone and they pay you.

O: That sounds like capitalism.

Dems: Mr. President, we have to go now, but we need your promise that you won’t run.

O: And if I don’t?

Dems: Well, Barack, let’s just say that your nearest friend will be not be within driving distance.

Would the Democrats be likely to follow my advice?  Who knows.  But if the Chief doesn’t get a clue, Hillary Clinton may slip in as if it were all planned.  Have fun thinking about that one.

About Terry Noel

I am an Associate Professor of Management and Quantitative Methods at Illinois State University. My specialty is entrepreneurship.
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