Folks, today I am awed by my blogging power. I just know Mitch McConnell read yesterday’s blog. How do I know that? Because he just axed that monstrosity of an omnibus spending bill. Is this what wizards feel like?
For those of you worried that this has all gone to my head, I promise to use my newfound abilities only for good. Here are a couple of things you can expect by, say, this afternoon:
- Presidential contenders will no longer do things that make them look tawdry, like playing the saxophone on TV or appearing with Kate Gosselin on anything.
- Men will no longer pretend to care about home decor.
- Women will no longer pretend that men are more complex than they appear to be.
- No one on a reality TV show will ever seriously search for ghosts.
- Don’t ask, don’t care will become a cultural norm.
- Global dumbing will surpass global warming as a cause for concern.
When I started this blog, I had but modest intent. I figured I might reach a few thousand people and hold a tiny bit of sway with a few of those. But to change the course of history? Stop a ridiculous and harmful bill? Dude, this rocks!