Once in a while, you just have to rattle some cages.  Today is one of those days.  Please be warned that what follows is sure to hack off some conservatives.  Sorry, we all need a smack on the back of the head now and then.

First, immigration.  Immigrants are not evil just because they are immigrants.  We should welcome people from all places and cultures to the Land of the Free for as long as we can still call ourselves that.  The problem is not immigration.  It is the fact that we are a welfare state.  People who come here willing to do honest work and live by their own efforts should be able to do so.  And, no, I am not saying immigrants should flout the law.  I am saying that we should stay focused on the real issue rather than insulting the unfortunate people who  are reduced to sneaking across in pursuit of a better life.  Don’t try to tell me you wouldn’t do the same thing.

Ditto for gays.  If your religion finds homosexuality offensive, I have no quarrel with you.  I think you are misguided, but your freedom to think what you want trumps my opinion.  However, please do not make this a public issue.  Gay people don’t hurt you.  Most of them do not want to have sex with you.  If you feel your butt getting hot because you think a gay person is staring at it, the problem is yours, not theirs.  (I love doing things like this.  Just watch–some conservative today will feel his butt getting hot and start looking around for the gay guy.)

And now for something that will offend most everyone.  Tough bananas.  Islam.  We need to stop worrying about other people’s religion in public.  Organized religion serves a useful purpose for any number of people. It serves as a catalyst for stupidity in others.  Christian, Muslim, or Pagan, history is replete with examples of brutality spawned by faith.  So here’s the message, conservatives.  It is not Islam itself, it is the numbskulls who want to convert others by force, no matter what they call themselves.

Lest you think you Muslims are off the hook, listen up.  There are millions more of you who are decent than there are nut cases with explosives.  Shut them up.  Make it known that you will not tolerate violence in the name of your religion.  Show the world that you can manage practicing your faith without trying to force others to do so.  We frankly don’t care about the name you give your god.  We do care whether explosives are used in his name.

There, that ought to get some people riled up.  Seriously, folks.  Let’s keep our eyes on the prize.  It is not all those people who do things different from us that make the world a troubling place right now.  It is those who want to impose their views on the rest of us.  Tell you what.  Let’s restore true freedom to this country and I will host a dinner at my house for gays, Muslims, immigrants, pagans, and conservatives.  We can all tip a glass of (wine, water, coffee…) to freedom, then go back home and do as we please.  Deal?


Terry is often confused about people.  He doubts that will change anytime soon.

About Terry Noel

I am an Associate Professor of Management and Quantitative Methods at Illinois State University. My specialty is entrepreneurship.
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1 Response to Conservative?

  1. Textbook libertarianism, with which I wholeheartedly agree. And I imagine that roughly half of those who call themselves conservatives, that is libertarian conservatives, will also agree. The other half, social conservatives, will vehemently disagree.


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