The Sky Is…

I am frankly shocked (shocked!) that President Obama adopted Republican talking points for his State of the Union address.  Lower corporate taxes?  Kill the infamous 1099 provision for small businesses?  Veto anything with earmarks in it?  I huddled in my basement for a while after reading the summary waiting for the sky to fall.  It didn’t.  Maybe the sky knows something I don’t know.

Terry: “You didn’t fall.”

Sky: “Nope.”

Terry: “But…Obama has become…a Republican!!!!”

Sky: “Breathe deeply and sit down, dufus.”

Terry: “OK.  I am OK now.  Lalalalalalala…I’m in my happy place.”

Sky: “Do you really think Obama has suddenly realized that less government is better?”

Terry: “Well…”

Sky: “Further, do you think he is really going to jeopardize his party nomination by hacking off the Democratic Left?”

Terry: “But he said…”

Sky: “OK, let’s have a quick refresher.  Point #1: Politicians lie.  Point #2: Politicians lie.”

Terry: “Can we go over that again?”

Sky: “Sigh…I’ll send you the PowerPoint file.  For now, just pay attention.  I don’t fall for just any old thing.  The sky falling is rare–it only happens when something really unusual happens, like Nancy Pelosi sleeping with Rush Limbaugh.”

Terry: “Yeesh.”

Sky: “See what I mean?  You can bet the faux furor from the Left was well-rehearsed.  The Tea Party has them soiling themselves.  Their response was some superb political theater.  Obama has absolutely no intention of changing his real agenda.”

Terry: “You mean he is a socialist at heart?”

Sky: “Call it what you like, Obama believes deep in his soul that government knows best.  What’s 21 months of role-playing to him when the reward will be four years to rum amok?”

Terry: “Boy, you are a cynic.”

Sky: “No, I have just been around longer than you have.  You are surprised and shocked; I find it mildly interesting.  They’re like cut-out dolls.  One looks pretty much like another.  If it were a Republican in there fighting for his political life, he/she would be wearing tie-dye and promising to expand government subsidies for urban graffiti.”

Terry: “Are we going to make it?”

Sky: “No.  Because you won’t grow up.  You people make me sick.  You say you want freedom, but you fret over who’s in office instead of asserting your rights and taking responsibility for your own lives.  You let scam artists convince you they have the answer and let them take your money to fund things that in the main serve to re-elect them to office.  You advocate programs to help the “poor,” but you never figure in who is going to do the actual work and how they will get paid for it.  You pat yourselves on the back for being a good person by doing the easiest thing on Earth–passing a law–instead of getting off your soft asses and figuring out how to improve your lives and theirs.  You scold others for smoking pot and watching porn when you should be minding your own damn business.  You want to put people in jail for “hate” language–hurting other peoples’ feelings.  What the hell is wrong with you people?  Don’t you have any self-respect?”

Terry: “I think I’d better go now.”

Sky: “Right.  And by the way, if you really want to see me fall, get Congress to obey the laws they pass.”

About Terry Noel

I am an Associate Professor of Management and Quantitative Methods at Illinois State University. My specialty is entrepreneurship.
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1 Response to The Sky Is…

  1. Rae Ann McNeilly says:

    I really enjoyed this – thanks!


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