(Warning: Religious satire included. Faithful without a sense of humor are advised not to enter.)
When Jesus stood on the hillside and ministered unto the crowd, the event came to be called the Sermon on the Mount. Had he lived today, would he have chosen to deliver a sermon on the ‘net?
I have no particular admiration for celebrities, religious or otherwise, but I do have to admit that seeing the Pope tweet is noteworthy. (Aside: The best Pope/Twitter joke of the day has to be My Tweet Lord. That’s just plain good.)
In our current Pope’s lifetime (he was born in 1927), we have gone from a computer-free world into one in which there is a chip in every pot. The poor may always be among us, but most of them will have a cell phone. Good thing, too, because now the Gospel can be delivered to millions instantly–it just has to be 140 characters or less.
Pope: What’s this?
Aide: An iPad.
Pope: A what?
Aide: An iPad, a kind of computer.
Aide: Just tap here…
Pope: What’s a computer?
Aide: A miracle. Steve Jobs makes them.
Pope: Should we canonize him?
Aide: Well, it’s not that kind of miracle.
Pope: I don’t know, this is pretty cool. We canonized St. Francis and all he did was talk to animals.
Aide: Your tweet will go out to millions.
Pope: I hope not. Tell the nuns in the kitchen to lay off the garbanzo bean salad for a while.
Pope: I’m tapping and nothing is happening.
Aide: Actually, Father, that was more of a press.
Pope: The press? They were supposed to be here later, after interviewing Lindsay Lohan. What is it with her? Tea into wine? Right. Like anybody would believe that kind of story.
Aide: Like this. (Tapping his finger on the iPad.)
Pope: (Tapping.) Ouch! I think I broke a nail. God, I hate praying for healing for little stuff like this. He (looking skyward) is getting grumpy about all my aches and pains. Call this Jobs guy. I want an iRobe.
Aide: An iRobe?
Pope: Yeah, have him draw up a sketch. Hey, think they’ll have these iPad thingies in heaven?
Aide: Well, Your Holiness, with Jobs…er, God, all things are possible.